Once a week, starting this day, I’m posting “Days with Saint Bernadette” on my blog. Like I’ve said before, Our Lady of Lourdes is special in my heart. (See previous post: The Blessed Mother Reaches Out) The visionary of Lourdes, Saint Bernadette Soubirous, has always been among my most favorite Saints. Just in the last couple of weeks, I’ve particularly known Saint Bernadette on a much deeper level, and because of that, I’ve fallen so much in love with her.
My family recently bought an e-book that compiled and commented on all the writings of Saint Bernadette, mainly her personal notes and letters to various persons. Her life in the convent after the Apparitions and in the hospice had mostly been hidden. In fact, she is said to be the “most secret of saints.” Unlike other Saints who said great sermons or wrote in scholarly manner, she devoted her very holy life in humility and simplicity, afflicted with illnesses, but still of service to the sick. Evidently seen in her Private Notes, which is considered as “the most precious document from Bernadette’s writings,” and in her letters sent to different people, is her whole, total, and pure love for God, Our Blessed Mother, the Sacraments and the Church. Her life was about complete submission to God’s will.
When we hear her name “Bernadette,” we picture her as the quiet, small, and meek child who is the sole seer of Our Lady of Lourdes at the foot of the Grotto. She was illiterate and uncatechized in her younger years, but later became a prolific writer. I learned through her writings that Saint Bernadette was an extremely sweet girl with a light sense of humor, cheerful and joyful amidst her sicknesses and intense sufferings, and always smiled (according to the ones that knew her). Throughout her life, her ability was described as “She is not good in anything,” that she herself said that she had the “job of being sick” and she’d been given the “job of praying” in the convent for not having talents or skills, and not being able to do much work because of her sickly condition. She was one of the least in the eyes of the society, but God saw through her pure heart, and to His eyes, she was a rare soul of great value, worthy to be chosen for a unique mission. “It is true that Bernadette is famous for her extraordinary experience of having been favored with visions of the Holy Virgin and because of her participation in bringing forth the spring that would heal many; however, the story of her courageous struggle for holiness is perhaps even more extraordinary than her visions.” (Excerpt From: McEachern, Patricia A. “A Holy Life.” iBooks). Such desire and toil for holiness was reflected in her own written accounts which remained focused on the messages of Our Lady in her visions- humility, penance and conversion.
Besides ranking along my most favorites, I now consider Saint Bernadette as one of my Patron Saints. On lighter note, I share a strong connection with her because I realize that the sweetness of her voice that showed in her letters and her style of writing remind me of myself, of how I sounded and worded my own personal handwritten letters, back some years ago when I used to write numerous love letters of much affection. The similarity in our tone just makes me smile. On a more serious note, I share with her a deep connection knowing that I similarly go through some of the sufferings she had and I strive earnestly for holiness like she did.
That is why I’ll try and share quotations from her writings in the weeks to come. As for the name of this weekly column, it is my way of dedicating a day for her each week. I feel that it is like sharing a ‘bonding time’ with my new spiritual friend, and letting all of us be touched by her words.
I pray with humility that the love of Our Lady of Lourdes and Saint Bernadette Soubirous may always be with me, and with whoever reads this.
***
I start my “Days with Saint Bernadette” series with her quote, “Love without suffering does not exist.” These words were found in her Private Notes. The reason I begin with this quotation is that Saint Bernadette herself is a sublime image of love and suffering- She had radiated love like the beauty of the two golden roses on top of the feet of Our Lady of Lourdes as she lived her life loving God above all and her neighbor as herself. At the same time, she had endured the thorns as she bore every suffering that was given her. All because Saint Bernadette believed first and foremost that “God is love.” (1 John 4:8) She says that love and suffering co-exist. We cannot say that we love, if we do not suffer. What does she mean by that; and can’t we just love happily and without any suffering?
They say that at different points in our lives, our definition of love changes. As children, we define love as the love we share with our parents, and the good things that we receive from them. As young adults, we mostly define love as a feeling, all about romantic attraction, compatibility and chemistry. Later in life, many enter marriage and become parents while some remain single. Either way, a lot of us are likely to say that the meaning of love is now about sacrificing one’s self for our loved ones and families. As we get older, many shift from saying “I love because of the good,” to “I love in spite of the pain.” And only those who listen and hear God’s voice, like Saint Bernadette did, can experience love that way and begin to understand what it truly means.
As Catholics, we are taught that “true love” goes beyond our definition of earthly love, which is based on emotions and sentiments. Genuine love is the love that seeks the good for the beloved; wherein you want the absolute best for someone. God is Love because He is the source of all life and goodness. He loves us as His beloved children and He seeks only the good for us. That absolute good that God wants for us is His will that we live with Him in Heaven for eternity.
However, because of the original sin of our first parents, the gates of Heaven were locked from us. The only way that God the Father could offer us the absolute good, our salvation, was to send Jesus Christ, His Only Son, to suffer for mankind through His sorrowful Passion and to die for us on the Cross. The Catechism of the Catholic Church tells us that “Jesus’ violent death was not the result of chance in an unfortunate coincidence of circumstances, but is part of the mystery of God’s plan.” (CCC 599) In the Old Testament, atonement and sacrifices for the sins of men was by offering animals. But for something so glorious, which was to open the gates of Heaven once more for our salvation, for which we would never be able to repay ourselves, God’s Only Son needed to suffer as a Lamb and Holy Sacrifice. Thus, we see that love and suffering exist together all along as part of God’s unfathomable mystery. Although it is difficult to fully comprehend why love and suffering must co-exist, Jesus, God the Son, has shown us the way in which we must follow.
And to follow Him, Jesus says, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24) Jesus does not say that since He atoned and died for us, and that if we are one of His followers, we enjoy the privilege to live as we please, bask all day in laughter, or sin whenever we want. “I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you must also do. Amen, Amen, I say to you, no slave is greater than his master, nor any messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you understand this, blessed are you if you do it.” (John 13:15-17) We are mere creations and servants of the Lord. Clearly, Jesus teaches us that like Him, our Master, we must humble ourselves, accept our sufferings, and walk the same painful steps if we are to love Him and become His apostles.
We know how Jesus expressed His love for us by suffering and dying on the Cross. He willingly took the punishment and atonement for the original sin and all other sins of the world. Along with that, during the Easter Season, Jesus introduced, proclaimed, and promised to us the last of the Persons of the Holy Trinity, whom He called as the “Paraclete,” the Advocate and the next Consoler, who is God the Holy Spirit (John 15:26). That’s the only way He could bring back the good that God intended for us, which was, as mentioned, to live with Him in Heaven, in perfect happiness for eternity. Similarly, when you love someone, you want to give what’s perfectly good for him and fill him with joy. Like Jesus said, giving what’s perfectly good for your neighbor means loving him in perfect accordance to the Will and the Commandments of God.
These days, the world distorts the meaning of love, in which love is confused with self-love, and what ego-boosts, benefits or pleasures one can get from another person. That’s how secularism often portrays it, but it is mistaken. In Jesus’ definition, genuine love is neither about what someone can get from you, nor what you can get from him, but having the love that is willing to suffer for the good you wish to give the other person. That’s where sufferings go hand-in-hand with love.
Doing the absolute good for the person you love always means sufferings from your part. How come? Because giving someone the kind of good that is honest and holy involves lots of self-sacrifices . It is never an easy thing to do and we must be reminded of that. Happenings of day-to-day living become crosses. To love, then, is to carry our own Cross for God and for another person.
Sacrifices in themselves are not called ‘sufferings.’ But when small and big sacrifices we do for the people we love are combined, that’s when they become sufferings. For Jesus and many of the Saints, martyrdom is their suffering. For us ordinary Catholics, suffering means self-sacrifices in our daily life- different personal sacrifices like physical sacrifices to work hard, provide and care for those you love; emotional sacrifices to be there for your loved ones, giving them time and understanding, showing them kindness and compassion, placing their happiness before your own comfort; and spiritual sacrifices to offer unceasing prayers and devotions for them, remaining in virtues and resisting temptations to avoid hurting them.
To love and to suffer, in a way that is beneficial and good for the soul of the one you love, in accordance with the Commandments of God and without any intention of sin, is such a challenge for most of us. But for the Saints like Saint Bernadette, it seemed very easy for them to do so, and required much less effort than how we experience it. I say that it is because these Saints love God so very much. The more you love God, the easier for you to love others in godly ways and the more willing you are to suffer for them in His name. That’s because the deeper your love for God is, the more you see Him in those around you, like the poor and the sick who need love, and in the people you personally love. Consequently, you treat others in the way that you will treat God, even if it means discomfort, hardship and selfless giving on your part. “Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.” “Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.” (Matthew 25:40, 45)
Following the greatest example of Jesus, and taking inspiration in the words of Saint Bernadette, we know that all of us, in our various roles in life, are called in different ways to love as we suffer; and to suffer as we love:
For Parents and the Religious
I’ve gone to Mass earlier today, and how providential that the Gospel talks about the grief of the Disciples that will turn into joy, liking it to the pain and joy of a woman who gives birth (John 16:20-21).
“Amen, amen, I say to you, you will weep and mourn,
while the world rejoices;
you will grieve, but your grief will become joy.
When a woman is in labor, she is in anguish because her hour has arrived;
but when she has given birth to a child,
she no longer remembers the pain because of her joy
that a child has been born into the world.”
Parents, especially mothers, indeed are witnesses to one of the highest forms of love and suffering all at the same time. From the moment they conceive the baby, parents give so much love and selfless sacrifice each and every day in order to raise their child, make sure they feel loved and safe, and lead them to God. The same is true for our devoted priests and nuns, who serve as spiritual parents to those who they minister. To offer their lives for the Lord and for the people they do not know, and endure the suffering of leaving behind their families or being alone in far away places to serve God’s people is truly love. If you are a parent, or a religious, be reminded that your children, or spiritual children, will first experience the love of God through you, one that they will remember strongly in life. Know that your suffering for their goodness is never in vain before Our God.
For Spouses in Marriage and Lovers in Relationship Discerning Marriage
If you are lovers discerning marriage, or you are spouses already in the marriage, you know that the person you love has weaknesses that you have to accept and pray for. And they have shortcomings that you have to forgive. It is you who choose to love them, when you see the good in them and the joys they bring in your life; and it is you who will choose as well to keep on loving them even with their flaws and faults. His or her weaknesses and shortcomings usually cause sufferings for you, but you stay with them because you love them. This is especially true when the one you love has difficulties, sickness, problems, or emotional wounds that need healing. What good is your love if you forsake your loved one in times of suffering? (See related post: Forsaking the Good). It is in loving them that prevents you from leaving them at a time that they need someone to be with the most. You choose to suffer with them, to carry their Cross, with or for them, because life is more fulfilling and meaningful to spend with them, than going through the same motions of a comfortable life without them. The promise of love is what always gives you strength to bear the suffering.
For Single Persons
Those who are single don’t have ‘special’ people in their lives, or none yet at least. But your sufferings are usually out of love for your families, carrying their burdens, at times taking on your parents’ responsibilities or helping them care for the other children, and making any other personal sacrifices to put the needs of your families before your own. Some look forward to the time that they will be called to the Sacrament of Marriage too and become parents themselves. But according to God’s will, they patiently wait and use the time being to deepen the love in their hearts, and turn their sufferings into graces of holiness.
I heard a few Catholic relationship advice for the single people which tell them to be in God’s most holy presence in front of the Blessed Sacrament and think about their future spouse, which I’ve taken and continuously been doing, speaking to him or her through the voice inside their hearts about the sacrifices and sufferings they’ve done in the past and in the present to take care of themselves to be worthy of him or her in the future – like opportunities they’ve forgone because they were a threat to them in any way, or preserving their virginity, or caring for their purity, and how they are trying to become a better man or a better woman until God wills it and leads the two of them to finally meet each other. I think these actions help the single individual to find more love in one’s life and more meaning in one’s suffering.
God’s Love is all-powerful, glorified by His sufferings for man. And so we know that anyone who resists to suffer does not truly love. May the reminder of Saint Bernadette be our guide in loving and letting our loved ones experience the genuine love of God through us.
St. Bernadette Soubirous, pray for us!
Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us!
Mama Mary, pray for us!
Amen.
She graduated cum laude from the University of Santo Tomas, the country's Pontifical and Catholic university, with an AB in Legal Management and minor units in Theology.
As an unmarried woman, prayer holds a central place in her daily life, with a focus on the Rosary and the Divine Office. Embodying her faith, she emphasizes the growth of her inner spiritual life, guided by the wisdom of Carmelite spirituality.
God manifested to her in a unique and radical manner, which made her know Who He truly is and led her to total surrender of her life to Him.
She has studied the Bible with her family, developing a particular fondness for the Old Testament.
Her adorable and intelligent toy poodle is a delightful companion in her daily life, bringing warmth and joy to her home.
Her hobbies include reading about everything, learning Japanese and German, listening to music and playing the flute.
In her leisure time, she enjoys gaming on PlayStation 5, Nintendo Switch OLED, Nintendo 3DS, iOS and OS, and collecting things related to PlayStation and Nintendo.
Email: [email protected]
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