J.M.J.
We cannot choose our parents or the family we are born into. The environment of our upbringing deeply influences our life paths, personalities, beliefs, values, and overall well-being. Some are graced by God with the joy of growing up in a loving home, reflecting the peace and love that the Church sees as foundational to family life: “The family is the community in which, from childhood, one can learn moral values, begin to honor God, and make good use of freedom” (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2207).
However, in recent decades, modernity, atheism, communism, and secular ideologies have challenged traditional family structures, leading to what the Church recognizes as spiritual warfare against family unity: “The whole of man’s history has been the story of dour combat with the powers of evil, stretching, so our Lord tells us, from the very dawn of history until the last day” (CCC 409). The traditional concept of family has been under pressure, leading to broken marriages and the widespread suffering of children from divorce—a tragedy the Church acknowledges with deep concern: “Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death” (CCC 2384).
Amidst these challenges, many individuals feel disconnected or isolated within their own families, despite living under the same roof. This disconnection can lead to loneliness, sadness, and profound difficulties. Often, this stems from a lack of true love and understanding within family relationships—between spouses, among siblings, and from parents to children.
A significant reason for this disconnection, even among Catholics, is the neglect of the Holy Family—Jesus, Mary, and Joseph—as the paragon of family life. The Holy Family exemplifies the virtues of selfless love and unwavering faith, virtues that are foundational to Catholic teachings but sometimes overlooked in contemporary family dynamics: “The Holy Family is the beginning of countless other holy families” (CCC 533).
By embracing the example of the Holy Family, Catholic households can cultivate these same virtues, fostering a more harmonious and spiritually enriched family environment. The Church teaches that the family is the “domestic church,” a community of grace and prayer, a school of human virtues and of Christian charity: “Family life is an initiation into life in society” (CCC 2207).
Imagine the transformation in the world today if families chose to emulate the Holy Family. By adopting Jesus, Mary, and Joseph as models, families could foster closer relationships filled with love and joy. Embracing the virtues displayed by the Holy Family can lead to a more connected and supportive family environment, where every member feels valued and understood. This shift towards living a life modeled after the Holy Family could bridge gaps and heal the feelings of disconnection that plague many households today.
My Reflection
Readers abroad may not be familiar with this song, but ‘Only Selfless Love,’ sung by Jamie Rivera and composed by Fr. Carlo Magno Marcelo for the World Meeting of Families in January 2003 held in the Philippines, became popular among Catholics. It especially became a favorite as a Recessional Hymn or Closing Hymn during the Novus Ordo Mass. It’s nostalgic to me—I was 14 years old then, a choir member in our parish, and always heard this song during our choir practices on Saturday nights in a parochial chapel with my cousins and choir member friends, which often lasted past midnight.
Jamie Rivera is a singer from the Philippines, my home country. She is known for performing Filipino Catholic songs composed by Filipino priests on various Catholic albums. An alumna of the University of Santo Tomas—the university in Manila from which I graduated—I saw her practicing a Catholic song on a stage in front of the UST Main Building in February 2011, in preparation for her performance later that evening, while I was in line to buy rare souvenirs celebrating UST’s 400th (Quadricentennial) Anniversary.
Jamie Rivera as she sings “Only Selfless Love”:
Its original music video the local TV network always showed back then in 2002 and 2003:
The song beautifully captures the essence of what makes a loving home reflect the Holy Family. In a world where love is often misinterpreted as merely a pursuit of self-interest and personal gain, this song calls us back to the core of Christian teaching: selfless love.
In my reflection, I aim to explore how we can deepen our love for our families by looking to the Holy Family as our model, using the profound messages in “Only Selfless Love” as a guide. This song not only inspires us but also offers practical insights into how we can embody the selfless love that Jesus, Mary, and Joseph lived every day. Through this exploration, I hope to demonstrate how we can transform our family relationships into reflections of God’s love and grace.
“Only selfless love, Jesus, show the world…”
The song beautifully reminds us that the love Jesus exemplified during His time on earth was ‘selfless,’ a perfect model of what we know in Christian theology as agape—love that is unconditional, sacrificial, and pure—that the Holy Family demonstrated in their home life.
Jesus lived this agape love through His teachings, His healings, and His compassionate interactions with those often marginalized by society. His entire ministry was dedicated to putting the needs and well-being of others before His own, culminating in the ultimate act of selflessness: His death on the cross and His triumphant Resurrection.
The Crucifixion of Jesus Christ is His ultimate sacrifice. He willingly suffered and died out of love, not out of necessity, to offer redemption and reconciliation between humanity and God. This profound act of love illustrates the scriptural truth that “greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). His Resurrection is crucial as it not only signifies victory over death and sin but also affirms His teachings and sacrifice, providing a solid foundation for our hope in eternal life.
These events not only validate the divine nature of Jesus’ mission but also challenge us to reflect on how we can manifest such selfless love in our own lives, particularly within the context of family.
Applying Selfless Love in Family Life
In our daily lives, being Christ-like means embodying the selfless love that Jesus showed through various practical actions that nurture and strengthen family bonds:
1. Understanding and Forgiveness
Just as Jesus forgave those who crucified Him (Luke 23:34), we are called to forgive each other’s faults within our families. This means letting go of small annoyances and addressing more significant issues with a spirit of reconciliation and understanding, continually striving to mend and deepen our relationships. Small children can often do annoying things simply because they are children, and school-aged children can face tough times at school. Parents may also experience stressful times at work.
2. Prioritizing the Needs of Others
Reflecting Jesus’ act of washing His disciples’ feet (John 13:1-17), family members can show their service to one another by assisting in daily tasks and sacrificing personal comforts to support each other’s needs. This might look like helping with household chores, supporting a family member’s educational pursuits and dreams, or simply giving time and attention when it’s most needed, especially during crucial times in children’s development.
3. Welcoming and Acceptance
Emulating Jesus’ welcoming of the marginalized (Mark 2:15-17), families are encouraged to embrace each other’s differences and extend a warm welcome to new family members. We can agree to disagree on opinions, as long as they are not immoral or evil in themselves. This creates a home environment that is warm and accepting, where every member feels valued and understood.
The same can be said about in-laws. They say there’s often a tough relationship between fathers-in-law and mothers-in-law (especially mothers-in-law) and sons-in-law and daughters-in-law. Parents should not be jealous or rivals with the spouses of their children, as the Bible says:
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.”
~ Genesis 2:24
4. Sacrificial Giving
Just as Jesus gave His life for us, families can embody sacrificial love by sharing both their resources and time. This could involve parents working extra hours to provide for their children, or the whole family participating in volunteer work to help those in need.
5. Fostering Hope and Resilience
Inspired by the hope of Jesus’ Resurrection, families support each other through life’s trials like sudden acute illness, serious illness, chronic conditions, financial hardships, challenges in raising children, caring for the elderly, death, and marital struggles. Maintaining a hopeful outlook and strengthening each other’s faith during challenging times are crucial for building resilience and maintaining a spirit of optimism within the family.
6. Teaching and Learning from Each Other
Just as Jesus taught His disciples, there is a mutual exchange of wisdom and learning in family life. Parents and children can grow together spiritually and emotionally by sharing life lessons, discussing moral values, and exploring their faith together.
7. Celebrating Each Other’s Successes and Achievements
I often see it among families, even practicing Catholic ones, that parents sometimes become envious of their adult children’s successes and achievements, and spouses envious of their spouses’ careers. Sibling rivalries, as we know, are very common. Reflecting the joy Jesus felt in His disciples’ growth, families should celebrate each other’s successes, accomplishments and milestones. This support plays a vital role in fostering a nurturing and encouraging atmosphere at home.
8. Living Out Faith Together
Families can deepen their Catholic life as a family by attending Mass as a family, praying together at home like the Rosary, Divine Office or novenas, engaging in Bible study (as I have done with my family), or participating in church events and service projects. This commitment helps build a solid foundation for both good times and challenging periods. In a world rife with negative influences from the outside and media, it is crucial to focus on each member’s growth in faith. This is an act of selfless love that demands our time and effort. While it’s easy to engage in fun activities, family members often admit to getting bored or distracted during prayer times. However, we persist in these spiritual practices not only to seek God’s blessings for each member but also because our foremost duty is to love God even more than we love our family members.
“that only selfless love can bring a hundredfold of mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, homes”
This line from the song directly reflects Jesus’ promise in Mark 10:29-30. This promise isn’t about material gain but about the profound enrichment of relationships and deepening of bonds within the family and community. Living selflessly allows our families to experience a more connected life, rich in genuine love, understanding, and spiritual kinship. This extends beyond our own families, encouraging contributions to the broader community, emphasizing support and giving back, rather than solely seeking personal enjoyment and adventure. Through such a lifestyle, families can truly embody the spirit of the Gospel, bringing to life the selfless love that Jesus calls us to share with the world.
“where peace and mercy reign”
The peace in the Holy Family stemmed from their unwavering trust in God’s plan, mutual respect, and their profound commitment to love and serve each other selflessly. In the heart of a Catholic home, selfless love naturally cultivates an atmosphere of peace and mercy. When each family member prioritizes the well-being and needs of others, conflicts decrease, and forgiveness becomes a more spontaneous reaction. This way of interacting is deeply rooted in our understanding that mercy is a vital expression of love. It ensures that even in the midst of disagreements or misunderstandings, and the faults of family members, our responses are marked by compassion rather than punishment or revenge. I personally know married couples who take revenge on each other when they fight and feel ignored or disrespected. Such an environment is essential for teaching both children and adults the importance of mercy, reflecting the merciful love that God extends to all humanity.
“where faith and hope remain”
Furthermore, living out selfless love within the family reinforces both faith and hope. As family members observe selfless love in action, each member’s individual faith in God’s providence is strengthened:
“Against hope, he believed in hope, that he would become the ‘father of many nations,’ according to what was said, ‘Thus shall your descendants be.'”
~ Romans 4:18
It also bolsters a collective hope for eternal life—a goal for each family member to reach Heaven in the next life.
“where life begins and ends in God’s embrace”
At the core of this way of life is the belief that our life in a Catholic home starts and concludes in God’s loving embrace. From the moment of vulnerability at our birth to our last breath, every family member is seen as being held in the care of God. Every interaction, challenge, and joyous moment becomes an opportunity to both demonstrate and experience God’s profound love. Homes that strive to emulate the Holy Family turn into sanctuaries where selfless love directs every interaction, thereby making each member reflect the presence of God.
Such environments transform our families into a sacred space—where the spiritual journey is shared, and faith is actively lived, not just taught. The spiritual foundation established within these homes ensures that even during times of difficulty or loss, the certainty of God’s loving presence provides comfort and fortitude, making the home a place where life is genuinely lived in God’s embrace.
“Like the Holy Family with Jesus, Joseph, and Mary”
Just as Joseph accepted and protected Mary and Jesus in challenging circumstances with selfless devotion and adherence to God’s will (Matthew 1:18-24; Matthew 2:13-15), parents are called to provide for and protect their families with the same faithfulness and selflessness. This involves placing trust in God’s plan above personal concerns, ensuring a secure and loving environment for their loved ones.
The Blessed Virgin Mary’s “Fiat,” her heartfelt yes to God (Luke 1:38), is not just about motherly love but also shows her as the first true follower of Christ. Her complete trust and humility provide a perfect example for all of us. In everyday family life, Mary’s example can inspire mothers to blend deep faith with genuine understanding and empathy, guiding their children through life’s ups and downs. Mary’s approach goes beyond just caring for physical needs; it involves nurturing a home where patience, kindness, and courage are part of daily life. By living like Mary—thoughtfully and actively—mothers can help their children learn to meet God’s call with open hearts and eager spirits.
Even as a child, Jesus balanced his divine mission with obedience to his earthly parents, demonstrating respect and love in his familial role (Luke 2:41-52). Children are taught to respect and love their parents. But it’s also equally important for parents to treat their children with respect and provide a nurturing environment. Parents should actively support their children’s emotional well-being, encourage their interests and ambitions, and guide them with kindness and understanding. Even in challenging times, parents should foster open communication and show unconditional love, ensuring their children feel valued, understood, and safe. This approach helps develop a strong, healthy family dynamic where each member’s individuality and contributions are appreciated, valued, and cherished.
The love demonstrated by the Holy Family is not merely emotional but involves decisions that include sacrifice, mutual respect, and adherence to God’s will. Such love is foundational in our Catholic homes, shaping an environment that prepares all family members for their spiritual and worldly missions.
“Home is where true love begins”
The Catholic Church teaches that the family is the first church, a place where faith is first learned and lived. The love found in a family modeled on the Holy Family is nurturing, protective, instructive, and sacrificial. Parents lead by example, instilling values and faith through everyday actions and interactions, thus molding the domestic church into a beacon of Christian living, as emphasized in CCC 2204, which describes the family as “a specific realization of ecclesial communion, akin to a domestic church.”
Homes modeled after the Holy Family are steeped in Gospel values—forgiveness, patience, compassion, and encouragement are practiced daily. These homes serve as the first schools of Christian life, where foundational teachings of the Gospel are not just taught but are lived and experienced daily, in line with Ephesians 6:4, which instructs fathers to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord,” highlighting the vital role of parental guidance in the Christian education of children.
“Love rejoices”
Following the Holy Family’s example, where love led to rejoicing even in difficult times (like Mother Mary’s Magnificat in Luke 1:46-55), families find joy most in their love for each other more than the material wealth they have.
“Love embraces”
The inclusive and welcoming nature of the Holy Family serves as a model for embracing not just family members but also the wider community. This includes showing hospitality and extending help to those in need, reflecting the universal call to charity as we are taught in Catholic teaching.
Conclusion
“Calling all families, let’s make it happen through ‘Only Selfless Love!’”
Most of us are not called to Holy Orders but to live within the warmth of family life. Ideally, we should aspire not to face our last moments alone but to be surrounded by loved ones—spouses, children, grandchildren, relatives, or those we cherish as family. This vision can only become a reality through the practice of selfless love. By adopting this way of life, we ensure that our final days are enriched with the company of those who matter most, reflecting a life well-lived in faithful, loving communion with others.
But for now, let’s cherish and love our family members, guided by the morals and values of our Catholic faith—whether they are newly married couples, those hoping to start a family, single parents, adult children caring for aging parents, persons living with relatives, or those we consider family, including traditional nuclear families, mirroring the love of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. By turning our gaze toward the Holy Family and nurturing an environment rich in peace, mercy, faith, and hope, we can transform our homes into earthly reflections of the Kingdom of God. Truly, isn’t this the essence of what it means to be a family—creating a little piece of heaven right here on earth?
Sacred Heart of Jesus, be my love.
Sweet Heart of Mary, be my salvation.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, be my refuge.
Saint Joseph, pray for us!
Mama Mary, pray for us!
Amen.
She graduated cum laude from the University of Santo Tomas, the country's Pontifical and Catholic university, with an AB in Legal Management and minor units in Theology.
As an unmarried woman, prayer holds a central place in her daily life, with a focus on the Rosary and the Divine Office. Embodying her faith, she emphasizes the growth of her inner spiritual life, guided by the wisdom of Carmelite spirituality.
God manifested to her in a unique and radical manner, which made her know Who He truly is and led her to total surrender of her life to Him.
She has studied the Bible with her family, developing a particular fondness for the Old Testament.
Her adorable and intelligent toy poodle is a delightful companion in her daily life, bringing warmth and joy to her home.
Her hobbies include reading about everything, learning Japanese and German, listening to music and playing the flute.
In her leisure time, she enjoys gaming on PlayStation 5, Nintendo Switch OLED, Nintendo 3DS, iOS and OS, and collecting things related to PlayStation and Nintendo.
Email: [email protected]
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